Percussion and piano piece part 2

The logic of the percussion line here is very coherent (even if my feeling for phrase-lengths is completely absent: I cannot think beyond the next few beats…). The phrases stick together well and have clear directionality. This is their strength but also their weakness. The piano line on the other hand is malleable and fragmented. It has some semblance of its own phrase logic, but since this is weaker than the piano part, it comes to play the subordinate role in the counterpoint. What we have is melody and countermelody, and perhaps not even that, seeing as the piano part might not really equate to a melody. It might simply be melody and accompaniment. In fact the way I composed this section was to write out a few beats of the percussion melody and then fit the piano around it.

The question is whether the problem is the weakness of the piano line or the strength of the percussion part. There is something less modern about the coherence of the percussion part here. Perhaps it needs to be exploded. But then what counterpoint could be forged out of the fragments?

photo (18)

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